What can I say... No one will ever return to the year 2007. Because it's the year 2023 which is knocking to our door.

An interesting fact — I have never been to a dolphinarium.

But maybe in the future I will.

If Barack Obama gets covered in chocolate, no one will notice.

Because he is a negro.

If a person's legs are broken, he won't be able to walk.

Think about it.

I heard a joke recently.

The man got worms.
The doctor advised him to drink kefir with a bun for 6 days,
and on the 7th day only kefir.
The man did just that, and on the seventh day he drank only kefir.
A worm comes out and asks: Where is the bun?

While I was the President, back in 2010, Vladimir Putin once told me: "Hey, Dima, you have a woman's hair on your shoulder". I really had a woman's hair on my shoulder. What a great man, a real politician. Such political rascals like Olaf Scholz or Liz Truss are nowhere near him. Thank you, Vladimir, for being my mentor and have a nice weekend.

I've never said it out loud but Lines 98 is the best computer game ever. I just love it. I can play it for hours and never get bored.

Once, when I was a child, my mother asked me how old I was. I replied that I was 13. I don’t know why I said that, because in fact I was 27 then. But since then I have never lied to my mother again.

What I love about annexation of the Kherson region is watermelons. Damn, they're good!

Not hinting at anything, but I finished Georgia in 3 days.

As many of you know, I was born in St. Pete. I've lived there for years. What I hate about this place is rainy weather. One day I went to work and didn't take my umbrella with me. Because what could go wrong, huh? It was that rare kind of autumn day that you only find in St. Pete.
Over there, they call it Indian summer. But it was just typical St. Pete autumn when you can expect literally anythyng from Mother Nature. I was walking home when it suddenly started to rain. The mercury was falling fast. It was colder than the Devil's heart, raining ice pitchforks, as if the Heavens were ready to fall. Everyone was running for shelter like there was no tomorrow. Taxi prices have skyrocketed in a moment and the rain was comin’ down like all the angels in heaven decided to take a piss at the same time. When you’re in a situation like mine, you can only think in metaphors.

I came home soaked to the skin and I could not stand it anymore. The next day I packed my bag, boarded Sapsan train and never came back. I've no regrets about that decision.

I've always been saying that freedom of speech is the primary part of human happiness. So, I've enabled Telegram reactions for this channel. Your opinion matters a lot to me.

That's all I can say to the enemies of Russia.

Your place is near the bucket.

In the last decade a lot of people asked me: "Dmitry, why didn't you run for the presidency back in 2012". My answer is simple. Working more than 5 years in the same position is just too much for me.

I am often asked about Vladimir Putin's height.

I respect him as a person, so I won't comment on it.

Most of you wonder, what was my recent Security Council speech about. Well, I won't tell you.

Planning on visiting some electric power plants next week. Man, I love electricity!

Moooorning, folks. What can be more satisfying than a hot cup of fragrant freshly brewed tea? Nothing, I guess.