So you're stuck in a country you need to get out of and all your bank accounts are shut down. You have got security to pay, drivers, staff and mercenary psychopaths.

So you send in the Smurfs, dozens and dozens of Smurfs. But some of your best Smurfs are all tied up so they send their wives, kids and friends, telling them everything will be fine. Except it won't be fine. Not for all of them.

Some of you may remember over the months of November through to mid Feb that the dozy drug dealing Scouse twat pretended to be in the foothills of southern Spain whilst in fact he was living it up with his gangsta mates in Dubai. But as Christmas neared his Irish friends passed him over to the Moroccans who were having a lot of fun playing "games at the port". Some you may remember O'Freckles telling all his Anchovy mates what a great Christmas day he was having with his family. Lying cunt that he is.

Of course some in Platypus Anchovy rather gave the game away like the moment Sprinter said on stream " I thought it was the middle of the night there" ...which given everyone was pretending he was in Spain, with only an hour's difference illustrates the complicity the Anchovies had in this less than comic deception.

What happens at the ports in Europe and the Middle East is best described as total cuntery.