Welcome to your FEMA CAMP
You're here because we want you to be SAFE, we care about you,
so please follow the simple new register rules
Men & Women over 40, please proceed to Level 4
Female less than 22 year old or pregnant, Level 8
ALL Others, proceed to Level 2 to get your 666 CHIP
Please walk through the descale agent shower
and deposit your clothes in the baskets provided
you will be issued new GUEST CLOTHES to wear
Guest clothes have special tracking bars in them for your protection
Please note, guests are NOT allowed to be in any unauthorized area
You will be told when it's your turn to leave your area
We do all this thinking for you, for your protection
Those with any special needs may proceed to area 5,
where you will be operated on for our experimental purposes
This is to ensure a healthier stay for all our Guests
If you wish to see your family members, you must inform us
where they are so we can go bring them here to Camp FEMA
and you will then be allotted an extra meal plus TV privileges
We want a NO VACANCY CAMP, to ensure you our best services
You do NOT speak to the robotic officers unless spoken to,
violators will be Tasered for 1st offense.
A 2nd offence requires an operation on your frontal lobe
Upon entering, you are REQUIRED to drink your coolade
it's a mandatory welcome drink, given daily to all guests
non compliance will be dealt with in the strictest manors,
and may require an operation. Please follow the rules
ENJOY YOUR STAY at our friendly & helpful FEMA CAMP
You're here because we want you to be SAFE, we care about you,
so please follow the simple new register rules
Men & Women over 40, please proceed to Level 4
Female less than 22 year old or pregnant, Level 8
ALL Others, proceed to Level 2 to get your 666 CHIP
Please walk through the descale agent shower
and deposit your clothes in the baskets provided
you will be issued new GUEST CLOTHES to wear
Guest clothes have special tracking bars in them for your protection
Please note, guests are NOT allowed to be in any unauthorized area
You will be told when it's your turn to leave your area
We do all this thinking for you, for your protection
Those with any special needs may proceed to area 5,
where you will be operated on for our experimental purposes
This is to ensure a healthier stay for all our Guests
If you wish to see your family members, you must inform us
where they are so we can go bring them here to Camp FEMA
and you will then be allotted an extra meal plus TV privileges
We want a NO VACANCY CAMP, to ensure you our best services
You do NOT speak to the robotic officers unless spoken to,
violators will be Tasered for 1st offense.
A 2nd offence requires an operation on your frontal lobe
Upon entering, you are REQUIRED to drink your coolade
it's a mandatory welcome drink, given daily to all guests
non compliance will be dealt with in the strictest manors,
and may require an operation. Please follow the rules
ENJOY YOUR STAY at our friendly & helpful FEMA CAMP