Microsoft sounds more like a blanket company.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Compared to horror movies, Ted is the best case scenario for a stuffed animal coming to life.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Cows would probably be mad if they find out that we squeeze their udders to make money and not for personal massages.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

In order to fall asleep you must first pretend to sleep.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

If all of us were to have enough sleep, the whole world would be in a much different state than now

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Fire trucks are actually water trucks

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Companies should send you a read receipt when you apply for a job on their website

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Banks are kind of weird. "Give us all your money to store here and we promise we'll give it back"

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Time flies when you are having fun, but if you are a frog, time is fun when you're having flies

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

I've opened my phones calendar accidently to use my calculator more than I've opened it to plan my calendar.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

We say "www" even though "World Wide Web" is three times shorter to say.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

@Bluntly I like this even though it's so badly edited 😂

Do you think woodpeckers get really bad headaches?

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

The thought of a hidden camera in my room freaks me out but I have my phone's camera looking at me almost 24/7.

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Hearing a song on the radio is way better than hearing it when you choose to play it

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Allergies are when your body decides to dislike something instead of your brain

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

Muting an ad feels like winning

@PensivePost #RandomThoughts

@PensivePost Damn!