AUSTIN, TX — In a shocking reversal from long-standing pro-life policies, the Texas legislature has decided that abortion can be legal in their state - as long as the unborn baby is issued an AR-15 to defend himself.

Brought to you by:

Are you a journalist? With Roe v. Wade overturned it's YOUR job to fight back by controlling the language and righteously steering the narrative toward a world in which abortions are safe, legal, free, common, and performed through all 9 months of pregnancy.…

AUSTIN, TX — In a shocking reversal from long-standing pro-life policies, the Texas legislature has decided that abortion can be legal in their state - as long as the unborn baby is issued an AR-15 to defend himself.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Biden made significant progress in transgender rights this week by signing an executive order that allows the Affordable Care Act to cover gender transition surgery and hormone therapy. Biden signed the order while surrounded…

Fathers are the forgotten heroes of this world. Mothers get all the glory (and with good reason!) but there are still some great benefits to being a dad. For example, free hugs whenever you want!

SESAME STREET - Reports have confirmed that beloved Sesame Street resident Elmo died unexpectedly this morning just a few hours after receiving the COVID vaccine.

PUBLIC NOTICE: All women are required to report to Mike Pence to receive their standard-issue handmaid outfits by 5:00 PM EST today. Any woman who is not in line by 5:00 PM EST will be rounded up by Pence's Soldiers of the Patriarchy and transported to one…

U.S. — Singer-songwriter Pink took to Twitter following the landmark Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade, telling all pro-life fans to stop listening to her music. Millions have since joined the pro-life cause to avoid what they call "Pink's terrible…

NEW YORK, NY - Ghislaine Maxwell has been sentenced to 20 years in prison, in spite of her many years of faithful service to our nation's leaders.

NEW YORK, NY — Ghislaine Maxwell, former co-conspirator of sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for her crimes, but the judge did express it was likely she would be killed early on good behavior.

U.S. — In what dispenser experts are calling an "exciting step forward for waste and frustration," United Dispensers, LLC announced that this year's model will dispense either 50 napkins or 0 napkins with a millimeter of tearaway trash for increased…

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a surprising 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court overturned all Matrix sequels, rendering them invalid. Warner Brothers will no longer be permitted to distribute The Matrix Reloaded, The Matrix Revolutions, and The Matrix Resurrections.

SESAME STREET - The CDC has issued a lockdown advisory to the residents of Sesame Street after longtime roommates Bert and Ernie revealed they have both contracted Monkeypox.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Cassidy Hutchinson, a former assistant to Trump-era Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, testified Tuesday at the Jan 6 committee hearing that Trump cried out 'Witness me!' while jumping from the presidential limo to sacrifice himself in a fiery…

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The walls are closing in on former President Trump. In an explosive bombshell unprecedented star witness testimony yesterday, Cassidy Hutchinson told everyone that she heard Mark Meadows say that a Secret Service agent's friend's cousin's…

VATICAN CITY - Pelosi visited St. Peter's Basilica in Rome to receive communion this week, but left the entire city in an uproar after she drank all the wine and left no communion for anyone else.

Summer is here, which means it's time for kids to be thrown into week-long Vacation Bible School programs. If you're helping your church run a VBS program you could stick to tried and true themes like "Jesus Is A Superhero," or you can branch out and try…

Roe v. Wade has been overturned and we are now all living in the literal Handmaid's Tale. Already, thousands of harrowing photographs have emerged from the abortion-free hellscape. It's worse than we thought. We were warned, and we didn't listen.

LOS ANGELES, CA — Universal Pictures announced Wednesday that former President Donald J. Trump would be starring in the tenth movie in the long-running Fast and Furious franchise. The upcoming film, tentatively titled FF10: Capital Riot, will once again feature…