I ordered a "no thanks" from McDonald's

I saw someone making a jetboil out of the window of their truck while stuck in traffic

A perfectly placed cockroach leg in my mini ice cube

Serving size is the entire carton

My antipsychotic next to my pillow

This restaurant gives kids a lump of pizza dough to play with while they wait for their food.

Mug started sweating dark liquid when it comes in contact with heat

I got this picture of the Prince of Wales hotel in a thunderstorm last night.

My dad got arrested for selling weed in India, 1979. He even kept a little note that says "Shiva here to buy d grass"

The rash I get when I touch seafood kinda looks like animal print

My dog eats his food from right to left.

My local cinema has a board that tells you which movies have a mid/end credit scene

My pupils aren't in the middle of my eyes. Been like this since birth.

The Oil to Service My Clock is $6,000 per litre

My senior dog's bald little tail is spontaneously regrowing fur and filling out again

U-Haul storage units at this St Louis location are old truck bodies removed from their chassis.

I was sold a spark plug with no threads on it

My wife ordered a bean and extra cheese burrito and it’s looked like they called her a bitch

We harvested a 4.5kg potato

An absolutely wild paragraph from my great-grandfather’s memoir