Tickle Me Elmo classified ads — New York Post, December 28, 1996

My middle finger turns extremely white when it's cold

I bumped into a wall and didn’t instinctively close my eyes.

A lemon with no segments in it!

Took this photo of the sun, almost doesn't look real

Local grocer covers cereal boxes that have images of women for "modesty" purposes

The pattern of this pineapple

This condom brand lists sizes with animals and has a measuring scale that I assume needs to be cut out

I doodle on every rent check envelope because it entertains my old Sicilian landlord.

Our new tree came with an owner's manual

Picked this acorn off a tree and it's embedded in some sort of growth

We live in Phoenix. Our Thermometer literally melted.

One of my books turned green

Was taking apart an old dryer and found a bunch of these perfectly spherical lint balls inside

Vet’s office tracks days since last accident in the lobby

Random black dot appeared on my hand three days ago

Eastern Kingbird landed on my hand, was not impressed by crushed Pringles.

The first page of my British passport contains a request from the King.

My randomly generated Starbucks Wifi code has crowned me the 69 DP Nazi

My local church has a statue of an angel killing the Corona Virus