This Windows XP wallpaper tag

Uncle severed the pad off his index finger. Doctor sutured it on upside down

My square pizza was cut like a circle and my circle pizza was cut like a square

Door lock ran out of batteries in a hotel. My guy here got in through the peephole.

I got a valid $1 bill that is being tracked

Garage door remote melted in the Arizona sun but still works.

Looks like strawberries in my tomato

My Water World has Datura openly growing

Flight attendant gave me every snack

I have a beer from America’s Oldest Brewery and the World’s Oldest Brewery

Our mums are identical twins, making my cousin and I genetic siblings.

Did an MRI, got a cool profile photo as a bonus.

The inside of my kiwi is shaped like a bat

I lost 140 lbs (again)

Chicago has enough of a Polish population that there's a trilingual sign in the Daley Center

Left the white cover on my couch and it rained, now it looks like a murder scene

Someone set up a Ritual Circle on the side of the lake this morning

This standalone parking spot at the grocery store

Found a Clearasil Daily Face Wash from 1997 in my mother's cabinet.

This mountain peak has a free beer station (donation-based)