The scratches on the print makes them bloody and murderous

The toilets here look like they're specifically designed for drowning Seth MacFarlane characters

My sharpener melts if it stays in contact with my eraser for a while

The amount of moths outside my front door

There’s a brand of sunglasses called Helen Keller

Calendars from 1987 can be reused in 2026

There's a skeptical dog in my countertop.

This thing always has smaller holes than Crushed red pepper inside

This bottle of "hot sauce" that arrived filled with water. Rest of the case was fine

My odometer will not go above 299,999 miles.

Our staircase to nowhere, which we use as a bookshelf

Found five 4-leaf clovers while walking with my wife this morning.

My teriyaki chick takeout came with this fork and chopstick combo. I'm going with forpstick.

My thumb nail has a ribbed texture