Bird at the Zoo wanted to be identified correctly.

McDonald's is using an anti-capitalist show to sell burgers

Found my grandmother's passport prior to fleeing Nazi Germany

Not a single person at my 2,000 student high school was born on December 16th

A deer visited while I was splitting firewood

Berry lucky charms is same shape as meow mix cat food

I wore a dish towel inside my pants without realising it all day.

My daughter was born on 12/12/12 at 12:12 and turned 12 today.

A single intact piece of my glass broke off randomly without breaking the rest of the glass

My work colleague let me have some of their cooked chips and I pulled out the longest chip I’ve ever seen.

Washing hands from leaky boobs in Sweden

My dad has a binder that's just marked "women"

The sign says to use the switch but there is no switch

My lemon tree produced this fusion of lemons

Nintendo NYC prominently featuring Luigi merch in aisle end-caps this week

CVS sells tennis balls for walkers

Someone decorated a dead bush in the median for Christmas

Came back to my cruise cabin to find a towel animal with my sunglasses on

Black liquid being injected into my veins. (Iron supplement)

Liquid Death has a drink called Dead Billionaire.