This pizza box has an accurate ring size chart inside

Former copper and brass pipe fittings from my house, cast by my plumber

My girlfriend peels her oranges into dicks

got a jacket from an estate sale and checked the pockets, found a pocket monsters card wrapper from 1996

Got an extra sausage patty on my sausage egg McMuffin.

The first JC Penney in the small town of Kemmerer, Wyoming

Refilled my half empty liquid soap dispenser with a different kind of soap creating this weird effect.

This bruise on my eye looks like eyeliner

The odometer of my bus at the end of my shift today

I put my antidepressants in a dinosaur themed claw machine to get me to take them.

Was crying. So I dabbed my eyes and blew my nose and accidentally created a penis

I’m the third person to check out my library book in 35 years

I was walking home and saw a rock that looked like a piece of meat

Found at the gas station. Green Milk!

this white hair I have is always straight

A roofing company doing work in my area gave all the neighbors Starbucks gift cards

This chip I ate looks like the US. I ate the US.

Root length of my extracted tooth

The coffee I got came with a card saying what they were listening to when roasting

Some kind of plant growing in the eye of my Scrub Mommy. Might be a poppy seed from a bagel.