I was selected to try out for Miss Connecticut pageant and I’m a 57-year-old man.

Driver's door handle broke today. Inside I found that "Judith" performed the material inspection

My local supermarket sells ostrich eggs

My egg isn't egg shaped

Teal McDonald's

Our bank mailed us this 1 cent check with no explanation. Uh, thanks

This pile of tuxedo shoes i found in an abandoned Mexican restaurant...

French fry disguising as a small fish disguising as a French fry.

The way this urgent care “staples” paper

My local Domino’s still uses the Noid

This is a 40-year-old balloon and it’s still fully inflated

Today I got mail from a Jehovah’s Witness. They used a Keith Haring stamp.

This apple fritter looks like a whole rotisserie chicken

The vein finder at docs office was fun to mess around with

The very next Ticket To Ride game on the shelf has 5 million more cited games sold

I lost over half of my body weight

the restaurant I'm at has the soap in a bowl

This sign was taped to door of our movie theater for the minecraft movie.

Canadians distinctly marking themselves as such

My iced coffee came in a plastic "can"