Spotted a brilliant blue roly-poly [Armadillidium vulgare] in my front yard. I thought it's some rare variant, but turns out it's actually caused by a virus

My recycling bags came with no perforations for a large section.

In my city they put an Audi next to an Aldi

The worker doing my random drug test had a marijuana leaf tattoo on her hand

My new suitcase uses a permanent label and a bright zipper on its hidden compartment

I have no fingernails

This mexican restaurant used to be a KFC and they just painted a sombrero, mustache, and poncho over the Col. Sanders images.

Smash glass hammer replaced with push pin on my bus

Someone bought, used, then returned a suit with a wedding toast inside the pocket

my sister’s chick fil a nugget is shaped like a poodle

Our watermelon started bubbling

This tree kind of exploded

I’m 58, my beard is almost entirely grey but there’s no grey at all on my head

This Whole Hair Was Stuck Under My Eyelid and Wrapped Around My Eye

Knocked this decoration over by accident (it was all caps) it broke in the perfect spot

Roommate brought home a bucket of chips

Me and my cat have matching birthmarks on our faces.

My Body Hates Mosquito Bites

I built my own Terminator.

My wife's water heater has failed today. It's almost 31yrs old.