Forgot this was in storage. Grandpas ole.....finger...guillotine..

I discovered a message in a bottle in a local creek.

The egg I peeled this morning

Affordable gas memorial on the mall in DC

My new pair of shorts has built-in crotch ventilation

Extracted wisdom tooth was still bleeding when I got home

There’s a tiny Jesus in this breast exam changing room, facing away for modesty of course

I ordered a battery from AliExpress, and it was shipped inside a toy boat

My fortune cookie says "Don't panic."

Perfect red ring appeared on my leg, doctor says no lhymes but doesnt know what it is either.

Opened my mashed potatoes and they were missing the plastic covering. Luckily, they still managed to get the expiration date on.

Ring On a String game has been played so much, it's worn away concrete.

Apparently prosecco bleaches strawberries

Nearly died, recovered, now my nails are peeling off

Men’s bathroom stall inside Harrahs Casino has a shield to help protect stuff hanging on the hook from thieves reaching over and snatching your stuff.

There are bug eggs on my store bought raspberry.

Waffle pits are basically paper thin now.

My pepper grinder is produced by Peugeot

Costco has now removed the label from their water bottles

Every morning, this super intense rainbow projects onto my bathroom floor.