Brand new bills missing #69

I just finished a roll of Costco plastic wrap from 2010.

My gyno gives out chocolates, pads, and Motrin at procedure appointments

My hospital bed has a 'CPR' lever to immediately lower the bed

Found the same lost keys twice, months apart, at different bus stops

The way this mural ‘hides’ an electrical cover plate

This astrology-branded vape

I put a styrofoam fountain drink cup in the freezer and it started “sweating”

Found Strychnine Sulphate pills remodeling bathroom

This shopping cart has a built in phone holder.

The letter N wore off my keyboard

Fresh watermelon juice after a few days sitting in the fridge

Some people at my local gym don’t play by their own rules

My window allows me to see black spots in the Sun

Two hairs going through my ear drum.

This $750 icecream sundae

These carrots look like they’re hugging

My umbrella has a pattern only when it’s wet

This east german magazine from the GDR just printed a BIOS for readers to use

I have a long toaster.