About to leave dressing room to speak with Jimmy Fallon. Love NYC and this show.


@ofctimallen

Check your local listings! I'm on @FallonTonight @jimmyfallon #FallonTonight

The Laugh Factory Hollywood invites you to join them for a free Thanksgiving dinner. @TheLaughFactory #Thanksgiving

Great light and great food here in NYC.
Happy Saturday after Thanksgiving everyone!

A Raven left this on my patio this am, apparently his ass exploded.

Hope you all are enjoying the Santa series as much as I did doing it. Merry Christmas everyone.


@ofctimallen

This part of the quote is my focus “…act as if you did.”



@ofctimallen

Hope to see you all at my shows in Milwaukee, WI and Waukegan, IL this February 24th & 25th, 2023.

Presale for both shows starts tomorrow, Wed., Dec. 14th at 10amCT. Use code: COMEDY. Visit https://t.co/1aZZfnROJv for tickets!

What’s the deer looking for in my living room? My niece said, probably a few bucks.


@ofctimallen

Hmmm…well said quote from the CNN new boss. Maybe a re-focus on accuracy not bs.

CNN’s Chris Licht: “So Much Of What Passes For News Is Name-Calling, Half-Truths And Desperation”

A reminder for me from an unknown Greek philosopher: “You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”



@ofctimallen

The sky can be a view of beauty even here in the Peoples Republic Of California.



@ofctimallen

Almost forgot to wish all of you, your families and friends a Merry Merry Christmas!!!


@ofctimallen

Doors open for a sold out house here in Charleston. Hope I don’t get arrested.



@ofctimallen

On my way…

My regrets about the past and fears of the future are a waste of my time, better said perhaps here: “I have realized the past and future are real illusions, they exist in the present which is what there is and all there is.”- Alan Watts

See ya soon Woody, you are a sad strange little man and you have my pity. And off we go to a number 5! To infinity and beyond!


@ofctimallen

Went to visit my dear Mom back near Detroit, and yes that’s 12 deer having a party in the front yard. This is not anywhere near a zoo or the forest so what the hell....

Santa getting a haircut and beard trim for the new season of The Santa Clauses.



@ofctimallen

Maurice the Elf barber has Santa looking like a super model.



@ofctimallen