Was crying. So I dabbed my eyes and blew my nose and accidentally created a penis

I’m the third person to check out my library book in 35 years

I was walking home and saw a rock that looked like a piece of meat

Found at the gas station. Green Milk!

this white hair I have is always straight

A roofing company doing work in my area gave all the neighbors Starbucks gift cards

This chip I ate looks like the US. I ate the US.

Root length of my extracted tooth

The coffee I got came with a card saying what they were listening to when roasting

Some kind of plant growing in the eye of my Scrub Mommy. Might be a poppy seed from a bagel.

A huge collection of smalls I’ve found over the years of working at a rubbish dump in the UK.

A squirrel with unusual markings

These mushrooms we picked for the restaurant I work in. Scarlet Cups!

The price of living in 1945

I have a hello kitty mini-chainsaw.

Ice Volcano on the shore of Lake Michigan

Tiny wooden blocks used at an indoor playground instead of sand.

The bathrooms at Hong Kong airport have screens that display how many stalls are available

How my sister dries her hair extensions

A Bottle of Prescription Coca Cola Syrup.