This astrology-branded vape

I put a styrofoam fountain drink cup in the freezer and it started “sweating”

Found Strychnine Sulphate pills remodeling bathroom

This shopping cart has a built in phone holder.

The letter N wore off my keyboard

Fresh watermelon juice after a few days sitting in the fridge

Some people at my local gym don’t play by their own rules

My window allows me to see black spots in the Sun

Two hairs going through my ear drum.

This $750 icecream sundae

These carrots look like they’re hugging

My umbrella has a pattern only when it’s wet

This east german magazine from the GDR just printed a BIOS for readers to use

I have a long toaster.

A spider managed to spin a web in my bike bag in just half a day.

The humidity over lake Michigan made the sun pink, and sunspots visible.

There’s a deer in my yard

This is what happens when male horseshoe crabs confuse a rock for a female.

The customs form on my package is signed by Stanley Yelnats

My daughter lost a tooth during surgery. They gave her a little bag from the tooth fairy.