Becoming “God”.

As I swayed
To the rhythm of dancing words
Sinking in the sands of thoughts
Trying to hold on dearly
To hide all these thoughts in letters
Yes,letters bathed in blood
And as I dipped my stylus in this pool
To be God.
Caught in the turmoil of what’s beneath me
Only to flee into this sanctuary
This of glowing nights
For really these little signs bring life
It’s blood to my thoughts
And skin to my soul
In these words life and death speaks
—the poet’s turmoil

.whosayegat🖤



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Behind my Stony DoorsBehind my Stony Doors

I am a man of lies
A man filled with warped truth
I wish to cry
Maybe then I’ll be sure I’m really hurt
Maybe then I’ll be able to see beyond my dark clouds
To see the storm crushing other shores
But I never shed a drop
Like a room with no open doors

I am a closed cannon
Filled with fired balls
I can’t keep them in
Neither can I let them go
For fear of hurting others
I watch as carnage destroys me inside
A deadly yet inevitable ride
Where shall I find a balm for my sores...

-inspo_a.rt






This is something I wrote when I was down.
This (whatever it is)is the first writeup I wrote.
I’ve kept it for close to two years.
I never planned to make it public because of the hurt that birthed it
Buh here I am..sharing it



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*SUFFERINGS*


I was born with...
Wait! What was I born with?
Yeah, remember, with ADHD.
Well, it's not a superpower;
Rather an utterly unfortunate reason behind all those sufferings;
Mental sufferings I mean!
And physical sometimes,
Due to getting bullied.
It kept me in the deep dark devilish dungeon.
I tried hard to get out of it.
But his soldiers were too strong.
Depression is his most powerful soldier,
Then comes Anxiety right after him.
And comes Confusion,
Furiously running after me.
When Depression gets tired, Anxiety and Forgetfulness takes the lead-
To hunt me, to burn me, to destroy me, to decimate me.
I tried deploying my soldiers.
Medication was one of my powerful soldiers
But alas! He failed to fight!
Though Psychology faught tooth and nail.
He was really brave.
But still ADHD destroyed him too.

~ Abhinaba Dutta😊

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Fear Works

I see my destination; it's beautiful.
I clearly see my vision; it's incredible.
But which staircase should I take to get there?
Two straircases; I guess I just have to dare.
At a time, you can only take one staircase...
Then that's it for the rest of the phase.
One is right, one is wrong, but which is which?
And after taking one, you cannot switch.
To switch is to quit before learning the truth.
To switch is to kill time, to stop too soon.

I see the top, the dazzling top.
I run up these stairs; I will never stop.
But I don't want to be wrong, or I'll flop.
If the staircase ends halfway and I fall off,
It'll break me—the landing won't be soft.

Lately, my confidence has been stumbling.
For quite a while now, I have been running.
I wonder if this staircase is just a cul-de-sac.
I wonder if I'm wasting life with the wrong track.
The god in my mind speaks to me often.
He makes sure I believe in my only vision.
But I want him to tell me if I'm going right.
Why don't he just sprinkle a little more light?
Going really hard for very long...
Just to discover that you were terribly wrong...
Though, will that be as painful as I think?
Probably yes, I'd shatter on some hard brick.
If I die then, I'd be remembered for trying.
If I don't die, I'd be a bird with broken wings.
I'd be forced to use my legs, the lower limbs.

Falling off has its ironic charms.
Falling off means I now know what harms.
Afterward, only the right staircase remains.
Will the fall consume me or will I step on the staircase?
Fear of falling off has never consumed me,
But fear of staying fallen is ruining me.

If any of the fears win, I become mediocre.
A normal life is too somber for me, too sober.
Well, I have a really good news to this fever.
My deepest and strongest fear is dying mediocre.
I'm not normal. I'm the devil with manners:
I lust with passion, I deceive hours.
I flame in growth, my dreams are fire.
Heart of a person, soul of a monster:
I crunch the minutes, though humble as I tire.
My sins are growing deeper and faster.
I'm too hectic for heaven anyway.
If a dead end is the truth of this staircase,
I'll fall off with a huge smile on my face.
Truly live, or die trying—no other way.

If how great I live doesn't matter,
How long I live doesn't matter.
Breathing is not living, I say.
Bite my teeth and run down the stairway.
All the way through.
All the way through.

I'm from charcoal


Nights dont call my dark
Black can't name me wack
Charcoal is my carbon copy
I am a man of sturdy

Son of the old
Granny aged thickly with coal
Source of wealth than crude
My solace lies in the wood

I am dark grey
No matter ticks the clock says
Smokes garnishes my flesh
Black breeze makes me fresh

Dancing flames around cook house
Wingless children sucks aroma like louse
Reddish porridge on the alter of charcoal
Happiness now and beyond control

When you see me in town
Don't say I am a clown
Black made me brown
Now, Age has grown

On the bed of memories
I smile with white tears
Granny's words still glitters
"Charcoal is black not bitter"

Do good;
Charcoal dies with impact
Still nothing can counter
When burnt, No equal barter

I'm from charcoal
Son of the old
I am dark grey
My solace lies in the wood.

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She is fire burning
So is her children
Leaves to ashes turning
She is mother nature
Mother of so many creatures
And also the mother of humans-
Her greatest trust breacher
Birds animal her only preachers
They are the nature's greatest teachers
But it's the humans
Arrogant and ignorant
Stinky, not at all fragrant
Violent, destructive and mind so stagnant.
Man will definitely ruin himself
In a way so shameless and flagrant.

© Abhinaba Dutta

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A Good Night Whisper

I really don't know
where to start
Maybe I'm dumb
or way too smart

I'm not a great artist
if writing's an art
But every line I write
comes straight from my heart

Maybe my words
make no sense
Or they're carefully woven
to keep the suspense

I wanted to write
a piece for you
Something that's pure
and very true

If you're wondering
the reason for all I said
It's to put a smile on the face
of the person going to bed

So now my dear
please sleep tight
After I wish
a final good night.

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Knock knock
please let me in
I said it loud
In order to begin

I was ready to confess
With all my heart
Wrapped in the warmth of
Writing's art

I tried my best
To make a rhyme
But faltered a little
in the initial lines

So I started typing
Lines too easy
Neither so classy
nor too cheesy

But I kept on writing
For long enough
Before finding new words
Became too tough

I finally found
alo lovely wuote to end
And hurriedly pressed
The button 'send'

I expected a reply
Which was gentle and true
Something that would
Contain words of love for me too

Exactly 30 minutes later
The ticks turned blue
Something that was like
My dream come true

But all of a sudden
Your dp was gone
Only after a message
' Shut Up You Moron'

What happened next
Almost anybody can tell
And I heard a deafening sound
My friend's call it my Love's death knell

So in the future
If we meet
Don't mention any of this
I repeat

Neither talk to me
about love
Because I can throw punches
From Right , Centre and Above

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_~RVD_

Knock knock
please let me in
I said it loud
In order to begin

I was ready to confess
With all my heart
Wrapped in the warmth of
Writing's art

I tried my best
To make a rhyme
But faltered a little
in the initial lines

So I started typing
Lines too easy
Neither so classy
nor too cheesy

But I kept on writing
For long enough
Before finding new words
Became too tough

I finally found
a lovely quote to end
And hurriedly pressed
The button 'send'

I expected a reply
Which was gentle and true
Something that would
Contain words of love for me too

Exactly 30 minutes later
The ticks turned blue
Something that was like
My dream come true

But all of a sudden
Your dp was gone
Only after a message
' Shut Up You Moron'

What happened next
Almost anybody can tell
And I heard a deafening sound
My friend's call it my Love's death knell

So in the future
If we meet
Don't mention any of this
I repeat

Neither talk to me
about love
Because I can throw punches
From Right , Centre and Above

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_~RVD_

Method to my madness

Rumbling under the sheets
Finally showing her face
Glaring and seemingly harsh
Lewdly bearing her fangs..

Breathing, sweat spreading
Slithering, choking me tight
Lucid dreams letting loose,
Neon lights in Paradise..

Ecstasy in her words soothe
Hurricanes and I give in
Eyes meet and hands locks
And with a smirk, she conquers

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*Perhaps my soul is dark*

I am drawn into your world
That you so darkly carved
With your emptiness
Perhaps my soul is dark
Perhaps I like black holes
Perhaps I hope to emerge
On the other side as bright
As a brilliant.radiant star
That lights up a million worlds
Im sorry Jasmine
I am drawn to your dark nudity
The poverty of your humanity
Perhaps my soul is dark
Perhaps I like the thorns better
Than the roses and the fragrance
Of blood better than jasmine
Perhaps I want to break through
The darkest night pouring into
A zig zillion shards of light
silently making a new dawn


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*Who Am I*

Ah! This drizzling rain
Those lovely skies
I love it all
I don't know why

These twinkling stars
That lovely moon
I wanna see them
Even in the noon

I wanna run
I wanna fly
Do everything possible
Before I die

That's what a part of me
Always says
The part I wish could
Forever stay

But in this world
That's not the case
Like every coin
I have another face

The one which is scared
The one which is shy
Wanting to be heard
Almost ready to cry

That me doesn't have
A place to go
Neither when I burn
Nor when I glow

I spend nights wondering
Which of them is right
I often put them in a battlefield
But they refuse to fight

So now I'm really confused
I don't know why
All I wanna know is
who am I ..

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The beau, ignorance.

I knew.
That made me a shitty person
If there was anything that made it unbearable and more hard to overcome than anything, it’s the fact that I knew it was going to happen.
It’s a pity we don’t get to un-know stuff.
Like just trash it.
It felt(no, was )wrong.
Like hoarding the girls lavatory or cyber bullying overweight people because it felt right
Or self-hurting so you can feel anything other than this unimaginable sorrow that was slowly drowning you.
If there was anything that was worse than knowledge, it’ll be passivity, more like apathy.
The fact that you didn’t act.
That I didn’t act
This didn’t feel wrong.
It didn’t feel like anything I have ever felt.
Words can’t quantify how it feels.

Probably, nothing will.
I hope nothing does.


Excerpt from my book, For the Lies that Matter
@whosayegat

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