The lottery
#abebe bought a N100 ticket and won the lottery. He went to Lagos to claim it and a man verified his ticket number. Akpos said, "I want my 20 million naira."The man replied, "No sir! It doesn't work that way. We will give you a million naira today. You will get the rest within the next 19 years."#ababe said, "I want all the money now! I won it, and I want it!"Again the man patiently explained that he would only get a million naira that day and the rest within the next 19 years.#abebe got furious and shouted, "If you are not going to give me my 20 million naira now, then give me back my N100!"One word for Akpos.
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@USA2A
#abebe bought a N100 ticket and won the lottery. He went to Lagos to claim it and a man verified his ticket number. Akpos said, "I want my 20 million naira."The man replied, "No sir! It doesn't work that way. We will give you a million naira today. You will get the rest within the next 19 years."#ababe said, "I want all the money now! I won it, and I want it!"Again the man patiently explained that he would only get a million naira that day and the rest within the next 19 years.#abebe got furious and shouted, "If you are not going to give me my 20 million naira now, then give me back my N100!"One word for Akpos.
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@USA2A
I'm A Prostitute
One day, #abebe drives his date up to a lonely and secluded area and parks. "I have to be honest with you" the woman says as he makes his move."I'm a #prostitute." #abebe.. thinks about this for a bit and decides he's ok with it. He agrees to pay her #N5,000 and they go at it.After they finish, #abebe says, "Now I should be honest too. I'm a taxi driver and its going to cost you #N5,000 to get back to town."
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@USA2A
One day, #abebe drives his date up to a lonely and secluded area and parks. "I have to be honest with you" the woman says as he makes his move."I'm a #prostitute." #abebe.. thinks about this for a bit and decides he's ok with it. He agrees to pay her #N5,000 and they go at it.After they finish, #abebe says, "Now I should be honest too. I'm a taxi driver and its going to cost you #N5,000 to get back to town."
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@USA2A
Knocked Out
The inimitable #abebe sent the following story from the hospital, where he is currently on admission."Today I got knocked out by a woman. I was in the elevator when that busty lady with excellent cleavage got on. I was staring at her boobs, then she said, would you please press 1? So I picked the left one. I don't remember much afterwards."Please out of our busy days shall we take a moment to wish #abebe a speedy recovery.
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@USA2A
The inimitable #abebe sent the following story from the hospital, where he is currently on admission."Today I got knocked out by a woman. I was in the elevator when that busty lady with excellent cleavage got on. I was staring at her boobs, then she said, would you please press 1? So I picked the left one. I don't remember much afterwards."Please out of our busy days shall we take a moment to wish #abebe a speedy recovery.
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@USA2A
Send a Text
#MICHAEL: #John , please send a text to #abebe and tell him we have to meet later in the day.
#abebe : Take my phone and send a text to him yourself.
#MICHAEL: Why don't you want to send him a text?
#abebe : My handwriting is horrible, If I text him, he won't see anything I write.
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@USA2A
#MICHAEL: #John , please send a text to #abebe and tell him we have to meet later in the day.
#abebe : Take my phone and send a text to him yourself.
#MICHAEL: Why don't you want to send him a text?
#abebe : My handwriting is horrible, If I text him, he won't see anything I write.
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@USA2A
Child custody
#Abebe and his wife were in court for divorce, the problem is who gets custody for the child! The wife jumps up and says, "Your honour, I brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody. "The judge turns to #abebe and asked what he has to say.#Abebe: (calmly) Your honour, if i put my ATM card into an ATM machine and cash comes out, whose cash is it? THE MACHINE OR MINE?"
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@USA2A
#Abebe and his wife were in court for divorce, the problem is who gets custody for the child! The wife jumps up and says, "Your honour, I brought the child into this world in pains and labour, he should be in my custody. "The judge turns to #abebe and asked what he has to say.#Abebe: (calmly) Your honour, if i put my ATM card into an ATM machine and cash comes out, whose cash is it? THE MACHINE OR MINE?"
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@USA2A
Haa! Doctor
#abebe opened his eyes after a surgical operation and breathed: "Thank God it's over!"
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A man on the other side of his bed said: "Don't be so sure yet, they forgot an injection in my belly and had to open it again."
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Another patient added: "Same with me, but mine was a pack of cotton wool."
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#abebe then paused for a moment and said: "Itβs like I'm feeling a vibration in my stomach."
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Almost immediately, the doctor who did the operation stormed in and asked: "Has anyone seen my mobile Phone?"
#abebe faintedπππ
@USA2A
#abebe opened his eyes after a surgical operation and breathed: "Thank God it's over!"
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A man on the other side of his bed said: "Don't be so sure yet, they forgot an injection in my belly and had to open it again."
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Another patient added: "Same with me, but mine was a pack of cotton wool."
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#abebe then paused for a moment and said: "Itβs like I'm feeling a vibration in my stomach."
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Almost immediately, the doctor who did the operation stormed in and asked: "Has anyone seen my mobile Phone?"
#abebe faintedπππ
@USA2A
The children argued at school about the things which are fastest: Tom says:
- The fastest is word, and will not return!
Dan says:
The fastest light! Just turned on, and it is already lit!
#abebe in response:
- I had diarrhea here, so I didn't have time to say a word, or turn on the light...
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@USA2A
- The fastest is word, and will not return!
Dan says:
The fastest light! Just turned on, and it is already lit!
#abebe in response:
- I had diarrhea here, so I didn't have time to say a word, or turn on the light...
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@USA2A