#yourreview
I like it head to toe
It inspired me too
To write
Here is what i tried👇
.............Lie|?|Truth

A question marked Truth
Is worse than a Lie
A question marked Lie
Is costly than a Truth

A question marked Truth
And
A question marked Lie
Are indistinguishable
As Light in darked Sky

#hunt
#Review

i feel as 2nd line of 1st stanza
have something wrong with it.

Paragraph 2 edited this way, so that's all woman will not be in the doldrums after reading.

Is the one who acted like a mother,
and cook me somethings to be wonder,
why would I be looking her to suffer.
#yourreview

dear me too,
I believe in you
as there is a part of me in you
I believe in survivors
ahh!sorry fighter
sexually assaulted,
mentally broken,
still standing,
standing firm,
brunt in crimson flames of hopes
still, then you healed
you rediscovered yourself
even if it was tough to survive


dear me too,
you are a warrior, a brave soul
the soul that can undergo tearing out of the spirit
yet rise again to fight back
you are like that bop bags, that rise up high how hard they fall,
yet you thrive and strive
every day, every moment with confidence and dignity alive

dear me too,
you have tales to shares and lessons to be passed on
you are born to touch the forgotten stars
to dismiss the lures, to be countless
you are born to fly up high
your wings were chopped off, even then you crawled to success
challenging the fate that underestimated you
as you accepted your weakness your strength embraced you like sun embraces the sky

dear me too,
I believe in you
as there is a part of me in you
I believe in you.

#review
#yourreview

How the future came soon.
The dried rivers are sin
Darkness brings down every noon.
But the news is never new.

How the future came too soon.
why the future looks seem so gloom.
promising all the great but never came true.

The future has come too soon.
All the dreams took off too soon blown
It seems we are going to have a stillbirth.
better still premature death all around. #poem #review #yourreview

Sometimes to win Big outside,
we have to lose several battles inside.
#review
#shub
#yourreview

Sometimes to win Big outside,
we have to lose several battles inside.

#yourreview
I tried to modify it so it may sound realistic.

We chose to be fools,
didn't we love?
We've broken our hearts, countless times.
We've carried the lies, under our hearts.
And as they build, they're killing us.

#poetry #G #yourreview

Daughter

My dear
I will teach you the difference
Between the Good and bad touch
I will teach you how people
Change with time

I will educate you gratitude
Not physics and chemistry
I will educate you about humanity
Not English and maths


I won't force you to be traditional
but I will teach you to be kind
I won't force you to apply any creams
But I will teach you beauty lies in the heart


I will teach you what is
Good and bad decision
I will teach you how to take
Self-decision without help

I will teach you to be strong
Even without family
I will teach you to be glad even
When you have nothing


I won't buy you expensive mobiles and dress
But I will allow you to buy books
I won't always show you the taste of
Pizza, donut but I will show the pain of hungry


I will promise you I will be you best mom and even best friend too.

#yourreview #review

#yourreview

A great and skilled attempt at portraying the dichotomy, in life and death, in a war, painting a picture of the mirror opposite outcomes that result from it.

I absolutely loved the rhyming. I felt it was very beautiful and natural.

The Title was very elegant, but I think it didn't fit perfectly, tell me what were your thoughts, what did you mean to convey with the title?

The line "To glimmer and happiness" in the first stanza needs to be changed a bit because you used both positive words, one needs to be negative for the dichotomy to work out, as well as to aptly describe the next stanzas. And "bejeweled" in the last line needs to be changed, because it is used to go with jewels, precious gems and precious stones.

Here are the improvements and additions I suggest to the poem (I am copying your whole poem and editing it to save time)
Here goes:

Title: FATE OF WAR


A beautiful doomsday
Makes its way
To the glimmer and happiness
Of two families’ consciousness
DELIVERING AND SUNDERING HAPPINESS, TO AND FROM, TWO FAMILIES, DIVIDED BY A WAR THAT SEEMED ENDLESS

One’s wife cried till all hell broke loose,
When she saw him after so long, her delight was profuse,
For he was there to wipe her tears away,
He was there for her, there to make a headway,
THEIR ROMANCE, RENDERED QUIESCENT/FORCED INTO AN INTERMISSION, BY THE WAR ACROSS THE BAY

Another’s wife cried, but this time, for truce,
When she saw him after so long, her sorrow was profuse,
For he was there but could not wipe her tears as big as pebbles,
He was lying in a coffin,
BEDECKED IN MEDALS AND RIBBONS, FOR ALL OF HIS FATAL TROUBLES!

#review #poetry #kt #SaiRamKiran

#yourreview

The plot is good and cambiar as well, an alien invasion like always not friendly , attacking us causing all networks and communication and traportations to fail, leaving all humans in despair and a big uncertainty of what will happen to the human race. But I couldn't grasp what caused the zombie attack , had the aliens spread the virus to cause the human race to suffer.

This is too mixed up , alien invasion, virus attack and world in chaos. This sounds like a mix up of several hollywood scenes from bradd pitts movie on virus, then " I am legend" of will smith and several others like tom cruise story of an alien being intelligent enough to control us.

Would like to read more about how this story unfolds.

There are certainly some mistakes here as well.
Like

August 10 , 2021
10:00 PM

It's been a month since that unfortunate incident. We didn't know that rapid increase in technological advancements is not only harming the earth but also hampering the balance of solar system. That day, those outraged mighty creatures, the uninvited guests whom mother Earth never expected came out of nowhere from the sky and destroyed every progress we made since the modern era started.

At first, the whole world went chaos. No one could completely understand what happened. We couldn't communicate with anyone as all the networking system was destroyed. The information flow which keeps the world running was stopped.
Within 2-3 days , all the supply chain also perished due to lack of communication and travel so riots also broke . People were dieing due to starvation with a week . Even the most intelligent ones couldn't figure out what exactly happened.

In 2-3 weeks, engineers tried to put all communication and travel lines back to place but they couldn't do it properly and all we got was the slow paced calling network of old era. Still, it seemed enough to restore the supply chain. The first information which came out was shocking. They said - "Nearly half of the world's population couldn't survive. Increased fear due to hunger and insecurity lead to people killing each other!"

I am writing today not sure whether I'll survive or not because right now humans acting like zombies are ravaging across the city. I hope someone remains alive to tell our story. We have to start from scratch now but I believe we humans can do that. I have full confidence that we will get back to the place where we were a month ago soon.

Thank you
From,
One of the surviving homo sapiens

#prompt #review #thepenpuppet

Title : Corruption

Corruption ,atleast the one thing that we all can count our government on.
It's indestructable, immortal ,indefatigable atleast the one thing we can count our system on
When haemoglobin betray you, when paucity of humanity engulfs your ethics
Atleast there is something that runs through our veins, corruption
When economy is crawling in the hope of betterment there is something that stands its ground none other than corruption
You never left my friend in this world of full of selfish people
I wish you the wings of Rafael jet
I wish you grow exponentially surpassing the Statue of unity creating your own record
I wish you heights you have never reach
Not only me but my whole government love you with the bottom of our heart where your are already ingrained in the depts.
#review #yourreview#potery

i once buried a love.
that was still breathing.
so now i hold on.
to everything.
that is already dead.
🖤



#review #feelings #yourreview

#yourreview. Intriguing topic. Nicely written. You are showing more than telling, which is a good thing. Some suggestions, used flushed in place of filled in the first line. Try to make the sentences succint, yet more effective. Keep them short too. A suggestion if you like, Walking alone in the winter night, through the flushed roads under the street light, I pulled my wooly hat down and collars up. My heart and feet stopped as something warm brushed past my face, fluttering towards the woods. I brought my hand up as I watched first in horror, a flying...elf. On second look I realised it was a fairy.
But to be honest I really liked the concept. Build a story upon it.
Keep writing. 👍🙂

#yourreview
It's quite straightforward, but isn't it the simplest of the things that makes us feel the most? The most of Everything.
Yes. I liked it...but couldn't connect to it.
It's just me, I guess.

#review #yourreview #sm #i’mABrokenMan

I’m a broken man
don’t know who to trust.
Being a broken man
allows you not to trust.

I’m a broken man
with lots of blood,
bleeding from the heart like a river.
Being a broken man
helps people raft on the red stream
And they don’t give a damn, whether you die in shiver

The moon is the only friend
who acknowledges my tears.
Stars, like a bodyguard
help me fight out my fears.
But sun, sometimes behaves as a foe
for his rays of light,
focuses me to reach my actual height.

Nevertheless, I’m a broken man.
Broken down piece by piece
by the sword, of the goddess of beauty
sharpened up with innocence, cunning ferocity.
Never even cared, if I’m happy or sad,
wouldn’t even matter if I’m alive or dead.

I’m a broken man,
who knows how to fix the glasses.
But, being a broken man,
There comes a why.
Why even bother , rebuilding it.
Everything broken down into bits and pieces.
And so am I.

My tears,Your tears.
Our face grew hot as the fire.

This mood can strike .
Erupting in loud shouts,
Like an extra.
Wondering why we're here.

Our mouth leaks with affection.
My words,Your intention.
Let us know our feelings.
Electricity runs through our veins

Shadows seem to follow.
Snacking on sweet and sour lollies
Nobody understands
Defeated like deflated balloons

Cowering in the corner at night.
Our pains , we've future buzzing.
I find a smile,
It appears on your face.
But it only widens
When our heart flops together.

#review
#love
#yourreview

#review
#yourreview
#thoughts

Indeed the water rises, indeed the rivers flow,
Beneath them mighty waves,
Pondering and degrading the earth that knits their path.
I see a gash, like a mighty wind,
A tide too unbreakable by the screams of fear.
And as it all comes to a still,
The earth smelling fresh again,
The frogs croaking,
The crickets tuning a melody.
And like the old grandma's hut,
A smoke rises on the moist tatched kitchen,
A meal, God has provided,
The land will bear fruit,
The children will have something,
Cause the owner of the land,
Has commanded it to yield.

I see the villagers smile,
A tune and a libation,
For a cry is heard,
A perfect gift of a son,
I hear the drummers play the tom toms,
I feel the harmony of the ululation,
Tomorrow the women will gather together,
To welcome and teach the young mother,
How to love and to hold her little one.
It is beautiful, the heart cannot contempt.
Surely, tomorrow, the sun will rise again and we will smile.
We will allow every rhythm and melodies made by life to flow to our hearts through the ears,
We will love, we will rejoice and we will call it a blessed land

I knew a girl who liked to draw,
Pictures for only her eyes.
She was more artistic
late at night.

Her drawings were different,
No paper,
No pen.
But she needed a bandage,
And wore long sleeves twenty-four/seven.

We stood by the river,
Under the stars,
When she rolled up her sleeves
And showed me her scars.

She felt embarrassed
and stared at her shoe.
Then I rolled up my sleeves and whispered,
"I draw too."

#review #yourreview #noob

#yourreview #review
Could relate to the core!
'Filled with people deaf,dumb and blind'
Simple and impactful and apt

#iam #Rocky #yourreview #review Love the way you are

Hey buddy, yes you, one who is reading this, you may be alone, not having many friends unlike others, not having enough money to live up to your dreams, may be to even fulfil your small and cutest wishes, you might be tied up all day with your course books, stressful office work, those computers and  the hectic tasks,

you might be feeling like running away from all your problems and just forget about all your worries, those stressful tasks and from toxic people and enjoy the beauty of the wonderful life.

Buddy, you are not alone, me, you, all the top CEO’S,   the world politicians, world class celebrities, sportsmen and many real life heroes were been in the same stressful situations,

Just stay calm, just feel the beauty of nature, love yourself, love the way you are, the way you are living your life. Have some inner peace, don’t be very harsh on yourselves, just believe in  your dreams ,focus on your goals, your passion and nothing else. Don’t give a f* about all these f* things, the girl who rejected you, the friend who betrayed you, the relative who keeps judging you, the society which is putting you shame all the time.

Just Focus on your dreams, which is going to bring a grand new reality to new.

Remember, no matter where you are and what you are, how worse the situation is, always have that smile on your face, which is going to make all the difference.

Bye Bye.

(Rocky)