#Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
#Me 🤔 🤔 Today and Tomorrow.
😂😂😂

@USA2A

- If your mother-in-law and your wife drowned in the sea, which one would you save?
-#me.. Fishes.
😂😂😂

@USA2A

#ፀደንያ : 🎙#እጅህ ይዳብሰኝ ዞሮ ከወገቤ.....

#Me: keep ur distance ምን ሆነሻል 🙄!!!

#ከኮረና_መጠንቀቅ_እንዳይዘነጋ_ታድያ #stay@_home_ 🏡

@USA2A

#Teacher: Solve this riddle

“ሲጮህ እንደ አምበሳ ሲተኛ እንደ ሬሳ”

#Me: #ዱባ ወጥ!

#Teacher: 🤦‍♀ No, it's not s/th you eat

#Me *Silently stares into her eyes* 🙄

#Teacher: አገኘኸው?

#Me: ሽሮ! 👀

#ከኮረና_መጠንቀቅ_እንዳይዘነጋ_ታድያ #stay@_home_ 🏡

@USA2A

📞On the phone🛌

#Me: የኔ ቆንጆ my iphone x📱 እኮ ተበላሸ 🥴

#Mom from ሳሎን:እንኳን iphone #ለቂጡ ሚቀይረው #ሙታንታ የለውም አትስሚው 🙄

#Me 🏃‍♂

😂😂😭😭
STAY@HOME

@USA2A

#Doctor :በሽሮፕ or በኪኒን ልስጥክ.....

#Me፡🤔

#MoM: #በመርፌ 💉 ይሁንለት
😂😂

#stay@home

@USA2A

#Her: im in love with you!

#Me: yea, and im in love with #beyonce....so guess we both aint getting what we want


#stay-safe

@USA2A

#Others: የኔ #ህይወት ውጣ ውረድ የበዛበት ነው
.
.
.
.
#Me፡ የኔ ደግሞ #ውጣ የለውም። #ውረድ ብቻ ነው😏😏😂

#stay-safe

@USA2A

#Others :- አምላኬ ሆይ የዕለት እንጀራዬን አታሳጠኝ🙏

#Me :- የዕለት ፖስቴን አታሳጣኝ😜🤣



#stay-safe

@USA2A

Natural Death

In a court, a murder case was brought to a judge...
#JUDGE: Did you kill this man?
#ME: No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. JUDGE: Case closed.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂



ፈታ በሉ

#stay-safe

@USA2A

#Genie🧞‍♂:You have one wish
#Me:I wish for more.?
#Genie🧞‍♂:You can't wish for more wishes
#Me:ok then i wish for more genies🧞‍♂🧞‍♂🧞‍♂
#Genie🧞‍♂:Holy shit
😂🤣😂🤣

#stay-safe

@USA2A

#Me: realizing sex and gender r the same

#Also me: so can we have gender?

#stay-safe

@USA2A

#Mom:- መጣህ የኔ አምበሳ
#Me :- #አንበሳ እኮ ሁሌ ስጋ ነው የሚበላው እማዬ 🤣
#Mom:- #አድኖ ነዋ😉😳


😂🤣🤣

#Stay_Safe

@USA2A

#Them: why don't you watch the news?

#Me: I have missed a lot of episodes, it's gonna take a while to catch up

#stay-safe

@USA2A

#waiter: how do you like your steak cooked

#me: like winning an argument with my gf

#waiter: rare it is

#Stay_safe🇪🇹

@USA2A

#Me at photo ስቱዲዮ
🤓
<))>
|\_

The photographer: change ur style

#Me:
🤓
<))>
_/|


#stay_safe

@USA2A

#Her:_ why u single?

#Me;_why im single:

My cat and i got into a fight the other day because I wouldn't give him አንባሻ, and that's about as much as relationship drama I'm willing to handle.

#stay_safe

@USA2A

#Me: my daughter would've been 8 today.

Fr: omg what happened?

I pulled out.

#stay_safe

@USA2A

#Her: I think I'm pregnant

#Me: ሄሎ ሄሎ... ም... አ... ሽኝ... ይቆራ... መልሼ ልደውልልሽ ቆይ

#Her: we're talking in person እኮ እዮባ


#stay_safe

@USA2A

#Her: babe i miss suc*ing yo d!ck

#Me: typing....

#Her: sorry wrong number

#Me: wait please አልተሳሳትሽም your guardian angle ነው የመራሽ ወደኔ nothing is coincidence. አልገባሽም ስንት ሀሳብ አዕምሮዬ ላይ እንደፈጠርሽ። በዚ ፍጥነት እኮ already shave አርጊያለው። your text pulled me out from a really dark place! ከቤት ሁላ መውጣት ጀምርያለው እኮ! ለምላስሽ flavor ለመፍጠር already nutella ገዝቻለው ! ሲጀመር ይሄ ወንጀል ነው! ከተኙበት መንጭቆ አስነስቶ ተሳስቺያለው አይባልም! ሀይል ነው ጣትሽን አስነስቶ ወደኔ ያስላከሽ

* You can't send any message to this customer* 🚫 🚫 🚫
5 min ago

#stay_safe

@USA2A